Situationship vs. Relationship Quiz

Situationships—those undefined connections that fall somewhere between friendship and full-blown relationships—can be exciting, fun, and emotionally charged. But they can also be confusing and, at times, emotionally draining. Because situationships often lack clear boundaries, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement without realizing that something might be off. The lack of labels and communication can mask red flags that might otherwise be easier to spot in a more traditional relationship. So how do you know if you are in a situationship or a relationship?

In this post, we’ll explore some common red flags in a situationship and how to spot them before you get too emotionally invested. Whether you're casually dating or navigating a deeper connection, being aware of these warning signs can help you protect your emotional well-being and avoid unnecessary heartache.

1. Lack of Clear Communication About Intentions

One of the most significant red flags in any situationship is a complete lack of communication about what both parties want. If someone is constantly avoiding or deflecting questions about the future of your connection, it’s a sign that they may not be interested in defining the relationship (or are unsure about it themselves).

Clear, open communication is essential for understanding each other’s intentions. If you find yourself frequently wondering whether they’re into you or just casually hanging out, it could be time for an honest conversation. A situationship that lacks clarity can quickly lead to misunderstandings, mixed signals, and emotional confusion.

Red Flag: They avoid serious conversations or give vague answers about what they want out of the connection.

What to do: Have an honest discussion about your needs and expectations. If they’re not willing to engage in a mature conversation about your relationship or future, it may be time to reassess the situation.

2. You’re the One Always Initiating Contact

In a healthy connection, both people should be equally invested in maintaining communication. If you’re constantly the one initiating texts, calls, or plans, and they’re always “too busy” to reciprocate, this is a major red flag. The imbalance in effort can leave you feeling drained and unsure about the other person’s level of interest.

Red Flag: You’re the one always reaching out, making plans, or keeping the conversation alive, while they rarely initiate contact.

What to do: Pay attention to their actions, not just their words. If they aren’t making an effort to connect with you, it could be a sign that they aren’t as invested as you are. If the imbalance continues, it may be time to reconsider your involvement in the situationship.

3. They Keep You a Secret or Hide the Relationship

Another classic red flag in a situationship is when the other person keeps you hidden from their social circle. If they never introduce you to their friends or family, or they actively avoid posting about you on social media, it might indicate that they don’t view you as a priority or are unwilling to publicly acknowledge your connection.

This behavior can also reflect a lack of seriousness. If they’re unwilling to share their connection with you with others, it might be because they don’t see the relationship as something that has long-term potential.

Red Flag: You’ve never met their close friends or family, and they avoid talking about you publicly or on social media.

What to do: If you’re serious about exploring a deeper connection, ask them about their reasons for keeping you under wraps. If they’re unwilling to make any effort to bring you into their life, that’s a clear sign they may not be as invested as you are.

4. You Feel Like You're Being Led On

If you’re constantly feeling confused about where you stand or whether the other person has feelings for you, it may be because they’re leading you on. Leading someone on doesn’t always involve obvious manipulation—it can also occur when someone keeps you emotionally invested while giving you just enough attention to keep you hooked without ever making any commitment.

The feeling of being "strung along" can be emotionally exhausting and ultimately hurtful, especially if you're looking for something more stable and secure.

Red Flag: You receive mixed signals—sometimes they’re affectionate and caring, other times they’re distant or unresponsive.

What to do: Trust your instincts. If you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells or constantly second-guessing their feelings, it might be time to have a conversation about what you both want. If they aren’t able to give you a clear answer, you may be better off walking away before you get too attached.

5. They Only Reach Out When It's Convenient for Them

In a healthy situationship (or any relationship), both people should make an effort to support each other, even when it’s not convenient. If the other person only reaches out when they need something—whether it’s a last-minute date, emotional support, or a quick hookup—it’s a sign that they might be using you for their own convenience, rather than truly valuing you as a person.

Red Flag: They reach out only when it benefits them, but aren't there for you when you need them.

What to do: Assess whether the relationship feels one-sided. If you’re only getting crumbs of attention or affection, it may be time to move on and focus on healthier, more balanced connections.

7. You’re Afraid to Ask for What You Want

In any kind of relationship, it’s essential to feel like you can be open about your needs and desires. If you're constantly walking on eggshells, afraid that asking for more (like commitment, exclusivity, or simply clearer communication) will scare the other person off, it's a sign that the relationship might not be healthy. A situationship that involves walking on eggshells or suppressing your emotions is likely to end in disappointment and frustration.

Red Flag: You feel like you can’t express your feelings, needs, or concerns without fearing rejection or conflict.

What to do: You deserve a relationship where you feel comfortable expressing your needs without fear of judgment. If you’re unable to communicate openly and honestly, it’s worth questioning whether this situation is serving your emotional well-being.

8. You’re Doing All the Emotional Work

In a healthy relationship, both people share the emotional labor. However, in a situationship, one person might be carrying the majority of the emotional weight. Whether it's comforting the other person during tough times, supporting them through personal struggles, or constantly reassuring them, doing all the emotional work can leave you feeling drained and unappreciated.

Red Flag: You’re the one doing all the emotional heavy lifting—offering support, patience, and care—while the other person does not reciprocate.

What to do: Evaluate whether the other person is equally invested in supporting you emotionally. If you find yourself doing all the work without getting much in return, it might be time to reassess the relationship.

Conclusion: Protecting Your Heart

When one person is emotionally unavailable or unclear about their intentions, the situation can quickly become draining. By recognizing these red flags early on, you can protect yourself from unnecessary heartache and make sure you’re not investing time and energy into something that isn’t aligned with your needs.

If you notice any of these signs in your situationship, it’s important to take a step back and assess whether this connection is truly fulfilling your emotional needs. Remember, you deserve a relationship that makes you feel seen, valued, and respected. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a situationship that isn’t serving you and make room for something more genuine and fulfilling.