How to Know If You Really Love Someone

Love is one of the most complex and mysterious emotions we experience. It can sweep you off your feet, make your heart race, or leave you feeling calm and content in someone’s presence. But knowing whether you really love someone—rather than just being infatuated, in lust, or caught up in the idea of love—can be tricky. Sometimes, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new relationship or the intensity of emotions, but how do you know if what you’re feeling is genuine love?

If you’ve found yourself asking this question, you’re not alone. Love can be hard to define, especially when it feels so different from person to person. To help you navigate this important question, let’s break down the signs that you might really love someone. These aren’t just romantic clichés—they’re signs that the love you feel is deep, genuine, and built on a foundation of care and respect.

1. You Care About Their Well-being—Even More Than Your Own

Love isn’t just about how you feel in someone’s presence—it’s also about how you want to make them feel. If you really love someone, their well-being becomes just as important (if not more) than your own. You want them to succeed, to be happy, to be healthy, and to thrive in life.

This kind of love isn’t selfish. You find yourself genuinely concerned about their emotional and physical health, and you’re willing to make sacrifices for their happiness. Whether it’s supporting their dreams, comforting them when they’re upset, or just being there when they need you, true love is rooted in a selfless desire to see them live a fulfilling life.

2. You Feel a Deep Emotional Connection, Not Just Physical Attraction

Physical attraction can certainly be a part of love, but it’s the emotional connection that sets real love apart from infatuation or lust. If you really love someone, you crave not just their physical presence, but their emotional closeness. You want to know their hopes, fears, and dreams. You feel a sense of security and comfort when you’re with them, and you trust them with your inner world—your thoughts, emotions, and vulnerabilities.

True love goes beyond the surface. It’s not just about how they make you feel when they look at you; it’s about how they make you feel when they listen to you, when they care for you, when they see you for who you truly are.

3. You Accept Their Flaws and Imperfections

No one is perfect. We all have our quirks, insecurities, and flaws. When you’re truly in love with someone, you accept them as they are—imperfections and all. You may not agree with everything they do or say, and you might wish they could change some things, but your love isn’t conditional. You love them despite their flaws, not because they are perfect.

In fact, you may even find beauty in their imperfections, seeing them as part of what makes them unique and lovable. True love isn’t about changing someone into your ideal partner; it’s about appreciating them for who they truly are.

4. You Prioritize Their Happiness, Even When It Means Letting Go

Sometimes, love means knowing when to put someone else’s happiness first—even if it means making tough decisions. If you really love someone, you want them to be happy, even if that means stepping aside to let them pursue their own path. Whether it’s supporting them through difficult choices, encouraging their career ambitions, or respecting their need for space, love often requires letting go of your own desires for the sake of the other person’s well-being.

This doesn’t mean sacrificing your own happiness or always putting their needs above yours. Rather, it means recognizing that love is about balance. True love doesn’t hold onto someone out of fear or possessiveness. It’s about supporting each other in growth, whether that means growing together or, sometimes, apart.

5. You Feel Safe with Them—Emotionally and Physically

Love provides a sense of safety and security. If you really love someone, you should feel comfortable being your true self around them, without fear of judgment or rejection. You can be vulnerable with them, share your insecurities, and express your true feelings. You also feel emotionally safe, knowing that they will support you through difficult times rather than judge or dismiss you.

This sense of safety extends beyond the emotional realm—physical safety is just as important. If your relationship feels secure and free of fear (whether that’s physical, emotional, or psychological), it’s a sign that love is at the foundation of the connection.

6. You Think About Their Needs and Desires, Not Just Your Own

Love isn’t about focusing on what you can get from the relationship—it’s about considering what your partner needs as well. If you really love someone, you think about their desires, their dreams, and their feelings, and you make an effort to meet those needs, just as they should do for you.

This is especially important when making decisions as a couple. When you love someone, their thoughts and feelings are integral to the choices you make together. Whether it’s planning for the future, navigating disagreements, or deciding how to spend your time, love involves a partnership where both people’s needs are valued.

7. You Are Willing to Work Through Challenges Together

No relationship is without its challenges. Even the strongest connections encounter bumps in the road. What sets love apart is the willingness to face those challenges together. If you really love someone, you’re ready to work through disagreements, tough times, and misunderstandings, rather than walk away when things get difficult.

True love doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means that when life gets tough, you’re willing to stick together and find solutions as a team. You’re committed to the relationship, even when things aren’t easy, because you know that love is built on resilience, compromise, and mutual support.

8. You’re Not Afraid to Be Yourself Around Them

When you’re in love, you don’t feel like you need to wear a mask or pretend to be someone you’re not. You can be yourself—flaws, quirks, insecurities, and all—and still feel accepted and loved. If you’re comfortable being vulnerable and open with someone, and you don’t feel like you have to impress them or be someone else, that’s a strong sign of genuine love.

This sense of acceptance is one of the most powerful aspects of love. It allows both partners to feel free to be their authentic selves without fear of rejection. You love each other for who you are—not who you think you should be.

9. You Want to Share Your Life with Them

One of the clearest signs that you truly love someone is that you imagine a future with them. Love isn’t just about enjoying the present moment—it’s about wanting to share your life together in the long term. Whether it’s traveling together, building a home, or raising a family, the desire to include someone in your future is a natural extension of real love.

If you find yourself thinking about your future and realizing that you can’t imagine it without them by your side, that’s a big sign that what you feel is deep, lasting love.

10. You Feel Grateful for Their Presence in Your Life

Lastly, when you love someone, you feel a deep sense of gratitude for their presence in your life. You appreciate them not just for the things they do for you, but for who they are. You feel lucky to have them in your life, and you recognize that they bring something special to your world.

True love isn’t about taking someone for granted. It’s about recognizing the value they add to your life and being thankful for the connection you share.