On our first episode of the Luli Health Podcast, I sat down with relationship coach and FEMM Health instructor, Rachel Owen, to discuss a topic we all need to talk about: situationships.
What's a Situationship?
So what even is a situationship? Rachel defined it as that murky space where you're not quite dating but you're not just friends either. One person might think it's leading to something real and are catching feelings, while the other is just there for a good time. No clear labels, no clarity. Sound familiar?
Rachel went as far as to say, “A situationship is ultimately not real.”
Here’s what you need to know:
Why Situationships Are Confusing and Hurtful
Situationships can be beyond confusing. No one may be straight-up lying, but when you don’t define what you are, someone’s going to get hurt. It’s like being in a relationship limbo.
How Men and Women Bond Differently in a Situationship
Men and women bond differently. Fun fact: women can catch feelings faster, sometimes just from a little touch, thanks to a hormone called oxytocin. Meanwhile, men take a bit longer, often not bonding deeply until after sexual activity. This mismatch can make situationships even more confusing.
The Importance of Communication in a Situationship
Communication is everything. If you don’t want to get stuck in a situationship, you’ve got to know what you want and say it early. The clearer you are, the less likely things will stay in the gray zone.
Can a Situationship Become a Real Relationship?
Wondering if a situationship can turn into something serious? It can—but only if both people are willing to communicate openly and commit. No commitment ultimately means no real relationship.
Here’s the thing: We all ultimately want connection, commitment, and something real. But when you’re stuck in a situationship, you might be chasing something that was not meant to be—and that can seriously hurt when you realize it.
How to End a Situationship: Know Your Goals
So how do you make the decision to have a committed relationship and leave your situationship?
Rachel’s advice is to daydream about your future, know what you want, and commit to that for yourself first! Get to know who you are better, whether it's through online personality quizzes or vision boards. Once you’ve got a clearer picture of who you are and what you want, set those boundaries that protect your goals. It’s your life, your rules. Don’t settle for commitment to anything else.
Pro Tip: Have “The Talk” During Your Confidence Peak
Track your cycle. Did you know that for about two weeks every month, you're basically a superhero? This time of increased confidence is the perfect opportunity to have those important conversations about intentions and commitment. Use your hormonal peaks to your advantage!
When a Situationship Turns Toxic
On a more serious note, if the person you’re seeing is isolating you from your friends, putting you down, or making you feel like you’re the problem (hello, gaslighting), that’s not just a confusing situationship – it’s toxic and it’s definitely time to get out. You deserve so much more. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and respect you, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve a Real Relationship
At the end of the day, you’re worthy of a relationship that values and commits to you. Set those boundaries, know your worth, and never settle for less than you deserve.
Comments: