In today’s episode of the podcast, LPCC Kristine Matthews joins us to discuss an important and often difficult topic: recognizing if you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Whether it’s with a partner, friend, or family member, unhealthy dynamics can subtly shape your sense of self and overall well-being. Kristine, a licensed professional clinical counselor, offers expert advice on how to identify red flags, set boundaries, and prioritize emotional safety.
Here’s a guide on how to spot the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship and what to do if you find yourself in one.
Respect is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If your partner, friend, or family member disregards your opinions, values, or boundaries, it’s a red flag. Whether it's belittling your thoughts, mocking your beliefs, or constantly dismissing your feelings, disrespect can have lasting effects on your self-esteem and mental health. No one should feel disrespected or unimportant in a relationship.
Signs of disrespect:
Emotional manipulation often occurs when someone uses guilt, fear, or intimidation to control or influence you. Manipulators might convince you that you're the problem or that they need you to act a certain way in order to be "happy." This creates a toxic environment where your thoughts and feelings are twisted to benefit the manipulator.
Signs of emotional manipulation:
Constructive criticism can help individuals grow, but constant criticism is harmful. If you feel like you're always being judged or criticized for who you are, it can erode your confidence and leave you feeling insecure. Healthy relationships encourage mutual support, not ongoing scrutiny.
Signs of constant criticism:
An unhealthy relationship often thrives on controlling behaviors, and isolation is a key tactic. If your partner, friend, or family member insists on you spending less time with loved ones or discourages your friendships, this can indicate a controlling dynamic. Healthy relationships encourage individual growth, friendships, and strong support networks.
Signs of isolation:
Trust is foundational to any meaningful relationship. If there's a persistent sense of doubt, jealousy, or suspicion, it can lead to emotional distress and anxiety. Whether it's through unprovoked accusations, spying on your private matters, or breaking promises repeatedly, trust issues can take a serious toll on your peace of mind.
Signs of a lack of trust:
Abuse, whether physical or verbal, is never acceptable in any relationship. If you experience any form of abuse, it is critical to seek help immediately. No one deserves to feel threatened, scared, or unsafe in a relationship. Abuse is a serious matter, and there are resources available to support you.
Signs of abuse:
While it's natural to rely on loved ones for support, an unhealthy dependency can create an imbalance in the relationship. If you or the other person constantly seeks approval, validation, or care to an extreme degree, it can prevent both individuals from thriving and finding individual strength. Healthy relationships encourage independence and mutual support, not dependency.
Signs of unhealthy dependency:
If you identify any of these signs in your relationship, the first step is to assess your feelings. Trust your instincts. Relationships should leave you feeling empowered and supported, not drained or belittled. It’s important to communicate openly with the other person about your concerns. If the unhealthy patterns continue despite your efforts to discuss them, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.
Recognizing that you're in an unhealthy relationship is the first step to healing. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and loved for who you are. No relationship is perfect, but the foundation should always be trust, respect, and mutual care. Don't ignore the signs—your emotional and physical well-being are too important to sacrifice.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Take care of yourself and know that there’s support available to help you make the best decisions for your happiness.